The Days of My Life

Sometimes I feel like Crap.

huroniremsin — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:32:02 +0000

I thought it was all a joke….And the stuff they said…I thought it was just a way to get by….but today…I saw things…and now I wonder if I almost chose the right friends.

This is what I am thinking about now, as well as it being my AIM personal message. I really don’t know anymore. My eyes, my brain, my thoughts, my ideas, they are all in pain right now. Today, at my friends house, I saw those who I was considering calling my friends doing explicit activities, all with the same guy. I am quite speechless on the situation. I really have no idea what to say. I can’t just leave it and say move on, but I can’t ignore the fact I saw what I saw. My eyes are burning from noticing a guy naked and a girl walk in and take her hair out of her eyes and go down. I also couldn’t help but to notice 4 other girls go in aftwards, and come out sucking their teeth as if they had a pleasant meal. I feel sick. I am disgusted and very regretful. Also, one of my friend’s noticed, and tried to get some too. This makes me think I need to rethink and really think about who are my friends. I don’t think I would want to surround myself with people who are sexual-pleasure craved freaks. It’s disgusting how all of these girls which I wanted to open up to…first time I’m ever considering talking to people like I would talk to a real friend….would all suck the same guy’s penis and find it fun. I’m utterly disgusted with myself, and them as well. They had no relations with this guy…why would you do something so…stupid? Myself because I wanted to talk to them and make some best friends, but appearantly, best friends won’t come easily. I need to relax.

Song/Video of the Week

He Lives in You

I wonder.

huroniremsin — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:40:35 +0000

Today was the last day of school, and from this minute, starts my Christmas Vacation. Everyone at school was in the holiday spirit, buying gifts, giving cards, hugging, laughing, enjoying the Christmas Show, all of that. For some reason, I didn’t have that same joy. I went through the two periods without smiling once. Why? I have no idea really. I don’t think I was upset about not getting a candy gram, but maybe because of something I heard the day before. There was this innocent freshman outside playing handball, when I heard a sophomore walk up to him and say “Dude, it’s pretty big in this yard. You could bring a girl in here, f*** her, and then …” The kid was so innocent, but after hearing these vulgar words of which we call english became subject to the disgusting pointless way of life most people live, and don’t try to fix. I for one, am tired of the pervertedness of the kids of my generation. It sickens me to hear a female be referred to as a “female dog.” Each day, I hear someone much younger than I cursing at the top of their voice, when I am only to say 1 curse 2 times in my life. It also amazes me that the parents don’t even question their child when such words are said. It saddends me to know that those are the people who will soon rule/lead the world of which we live in.

On to the Christmas spirit thing. I don’t think I have it. I have no money because I constantly give it most of it away to help those who consider themselves more needy than I. So, I can’t buy anything. Today, someone asked me if I was getting anything for my brother. I said no, and they reacted as if I was a bad person who didn’t care. Sure, he bought me pens, and sure it doesn’t matter that I don’t need the pens, but I have no money. I am not going to make a card because that would be pointless. What else can I possibly do? As I walked up the stairs to my apartment, I couldn’t rack my mind to find any answers. It seemed to be only I who didn’t really care that we were going on vacation. It seems that only I am not in the mood to say “YAY CHRISTMAS.” Why me? I know one of my friends says “Merry Christmas” and moves on, but at least he has the spirit. I feel down, and I have no idea why. Oh well.

Last part of this blog entry will be my New Years Resolution. I am not sure of what’s on it yet, but the ideas are flowing as I type…so here it goes.

1. To Be More Open around people.

2. To save money more often

3. To make more friends.

4. To practice piano as a second instrument.

5. To be nicer to people and buy people stuff for days that are important to them.

6. To be myself.

And lastly, here is my 2nd to latest video. The next video I post, will be the Presentation of my team….HoT (Hero’s of Tommorow)

Song of day : Those Who Fight – Final Fantasy 7

I am the Definition of Trash

huroniremsin — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:50:39 +0000

Yes, I am finally declaring it. This should make Jonathan happy. I fail at life, I fail at school, and I fail at track. I fail at EVERYTHING, hence, my being trash . But, being trash is actually quite fun. This tells me there is tons of room to improve. But, one thing I have noticed is that I am actually passing everything I did last year so far. For example, in track, at practice, I ran 37′s. Now, this year, I am running 29′s. This means that at my rate, by Loughlin Games, I might be able to run 26 =D. I can’t wait. Ap World History is okay. I accidentally over-read the package of paper he gave us two days ago and I didn’t do too well on the quiz he gave today ^^; But it doesn’t matter. Chemistry is AMAZINGLY FUN nowadays. I actually can’t wait to get into that class. The way the teacher talks and her ability to teach is amazing. I didn’t know anything about Chemistry, and she actually, within a limited amount of time, helped me to understand very quickly. I LOVE IT. Although it’s hard for me to speak correctly in that class, it’s still fun, and I appreciate that. I take it one day at a time. Soon, I’ll be the master of all trades of which I have always wanted to be =D.

Here is a Pen Spinning Promotional Video I have made. Enjoy

The song is The Ripper by The Used

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huroniremsin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:52:02 +0000

Wow. Another day in my life. Today was a Sunday filled with nothingness. But, what happend just recently tonight, went way over the edge. I was threatend with something I can’t do because I was never taught. Yes, I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO IRON. So people yelled at me and whatnot, but who am I to respond/defend myself? I am just Ridwan, the loser. So yeah, I was in my room practicing my flute, and my dad calls my brother. I say okay, let me go tell them that he’s asleep. He then transfers his random anger towards me. So, I get all the clothes and put them by the iron. He tells me no, and to put a cloth on the ironing board. So I say, but I want to put this over there so my job will be easier. He yells no. So I say w/e and do what I have to do. Then I start ironing. He yells at me to put more pressure on the iron. I am as weak as a feather, so it hurts from my wrist to my arm as I push down, but I (stupidly) don’t want to upset my parents, so I put myself in a position to destroy my arms. If I was to tell them that, I wonder if they would treat me diffently. But, who cares. No I said Ridwan as he suffered. I never learned how to ride a bike. I had to teach myself. I never learned how to write. I learned with a little help from some caring teachers. I can’t go to anyone when I need help with work. No one will help me. I have to do it alone. I get good grades for myself. It seems that my parents don’t care. They only make fun of me when I do bad. So, I guess it’s only I who feels the pain/agony of when something unfortunate happens to me. Only I understand me. This seems to be the unfortunate truth which I have came to discover today. But, who cares. I surely don’t. I can do it alone. I can do what I need to do. Sure it may be hard in the future, but, who cares. My name is Ridwan, hear me rawr. They can forget about me. It doesn’t really hurt anymore. It didn’t kill me yet, and I don’t think it will ever kill me. It’s just another thing I have to live with. My life…is so imperfect. But, I’ll keep a smile on my face

WOW

huroniremsin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:56:01 +0000

Friday, November 21, 2008
Wow

Wow, I haven’t posted here in a long time. Well, tons of things have happend since my last post. I went through TONS of pens. Some got traded, some got broken, life goes on. I only have two total pen mods now, but that’s all I need for the current moment. Hopefully soon I’ll be getting a monami, and I’ll have my beloved hexogontal body back . This comssa body has served me well for a while, but I need my MONAMI >:).

On to my personal life. Well, in school, 1st quarter of my sophmore year, I didn’t do too good V_V. I got an average of 89.3 overall, while last year, my average was around 95.3. I felt so horrible, and everyone made fun of me. People started declaring that my brother is smarter than me, when that’s how it’s supposed to be. I guess I’ll have to pick it up. I think I am going to go for an average like 96.0. It’s possible…I know .

My goal to become less shy is going full steam. I find myself talking to more people every day, about any situation that I find myself talking to that person in. It’s actually pretty fun, although people laugh at me because of my way of speaking and my refusal to let conversations get too deep. But yeah, it’s a work in progress, and something I am quite proud of.

Now, for the reason I really decided to start writing in my personal blog again. Actually, there are two. One of the reasons is to improve my english. This blog will be my, lets say, week by week journal where I’ll post about my life and all the endeavors I may encounter. This improvement of my english will represent my growth, which I don’t find myself doing much of these days. My second reason, is to declare that I don’t care about becoming valedictorian of my highschool. I will start to try to do my best in school, but the fact of being valedictorian doesn’t really affect me. That speech that will be given at the end of my senior year, IF I indeed become valedictorian, most likely, will be dry and lame, like many others before it. It may be good, but I really don’t care about it at the current moment. I’m just stating the fact that I will try to do what I have to do. Lazyness may take over, but I’ll TRY. I do well in school for myself. I used to think others will be happy that I did well, and compliment me, but it seems that it doesn’t go that way these days. Those who do worse get more rewards than I do, so I guess the idea of a “reward” should be reliquished from my mind. It seems harsh, but that’s just the way it is.

And, that’s pretty much it. Expect to see many posts here, or videos.(When I get a camera and a tripod xD) I’m already planning a few, which include my 2nd Collab Video, and maybe a few flute videos. But yeah, stay tuned. I’ll be doing alot of stuff…Sounds like…fun .