I thought it was all a joke….And the stuff they said…I thought it was just a way to get by….but today…I saw things…and now I wonder if I almost chose the right friends.
This is what I am thinking about now, as well as it being my AIM personal message. I really don’t know anymore. My eyes, my brain, my thoughts, my ideas, they are all in pain right now. Today, at my friends house, I saw those who I was considering calling my friends doing explicit activities, all with the same guy. I am quite speechless on the situation. I really have no idea what to say. I can’t just leave it and say move on, but I can’t ignore the fact I saw what I saw. My eyes are burning from noticing a guy naked and a girl walk in and take her hair out of her eyes and go down. I also couldn’t help but to notice 4 other girls go in aftwards, and come out sucking their teeth as if they had a pleasant meal. I feel sick. I am disgusted and very regretful. Also, one of my friend’s noticed, and tried to get some too. This makes me think I need to rethink and really think about who are my friends. I don’t think I would want to surround myself with people who are sexual-pleasure craved freaks. It’s disgusting how all of these girls which I wanted to open up to…first time I’m ever considering talking to people like I would talk to a real friend….would all suck the same guy’s penis and find it fun. I’m utterly disgusted with myself, and them as well. They had no relations with this guy…why would you do something so…stupid? Myself because I wanted to talk to them and make some best friends, but appearantly, best friends won’t come easily. I need to relax.
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